Al Batt: Japanese beetles

By Al Batt

For the Birds in The Caledonia Argus

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting 

A sweater I bought was filled with static electricity, so I returned it to the store.

Did you get a different sweater?

Yes, they gave me one free of charge.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me, such as: The morning began early. I made tea before turning on the radio and learning the “Now what?” of the day. It sounded as if the weather forecast was for rain followed by a Thursday, but I might have heard wrong. 

Would John Wayne wear a mask? Someone might have to put it on him as he’d be 113 years old now, but he’d wear one as he wanted to be the hero in his movies. He’d say as he did in “Flying Tigers,” “Don’t try to win this war all by yourself.” Or maybe he’d quote his character from “Stagecoach, “Well, there are some things a man just can’t run away from.”

I listened to some songs by John Prine, who is most often my favorite singer, and died from the dad-blamed COVID-19.

It was low-hanging fruit

My wife was in a grocery store. She wanted to buy a seedless watermelon. The store kept their watermelons in a huge box at the end of an aisle. There was only one melon left in that container and she couldn’t reach it. 

She said there were no big people around to help her. I have been asked often to grab an item from the top shelf for someone. I’m vertically enhanced and the one asking wasn’t. One day, I’m going to ask a short person to get something from the bottom shelf for me. That would be good. I could use the help.

And the winners in the Worst Joke category are

“What is brown, wrinkled and lives in a tower?” The lunch bag of Notre Dame.

“What breed of dogs enjoys taking baths?” There are two — the shampoodle and the bathithound.

We got a puppy to help us get through the pandemic. Unfortunately, my husband turned out to be allergic to dogs. I need to find a new home for him. His name is Robert. He’s 59, handy around the house and has a nice car.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Six things I shoulda, woulda, coulda, had oughta done in 2019

Bought more books from the Friends of the Library. Visited with and hugged everyone. Read up on toilet paper hoarding. Found a good mask to get the flu to skidoo. Planned a bigger garden. Invested in Zoom.

Nature notes

A blue jay flew into a feeder holding peanuts in the shell. The jay picked up a number of peanuts and put them back down as it searched for the perfect goober. Finding one with the weight that indicated good eating inside, the bird flew off with it. 

Jerry and Jill Morstad of Albert Lea had a mallard raise a family in a nest in a tree in their yard. They live along a busy street, so Jerry erected a “Duckling crossing” sign.

Goldenrods bloom and don’t cause hay fever as their heavy pollen is carried by insects. Great and common ragweeds shed pollen causing hay fever symptoms.

Wild cucumber, an annual native vine, blooms with small white flowers. The rambunctious plant has star-shaped leaves and spiky fruit. Orb spider webs in grasses are evident on dewy mornings and make swell photos.

If you get lost in the woods, follow a Virginia opossum. You’ll end up in the middle of a road.

Naturally 

I walked to the mailbox. There were butterflies puddling — obtaining sodium and other minerals concentrated in a moist spot on the sandy roadside. I often see sulphurs, cabbage whites, azures, swallowtails and red-spotted purple butterflies engaged in such an activity. Most are males seeking nutrients. They allow approach which leads to photo opportunities. Puddling stations can be made by filling a shallow pan or dish (pie tin, saucer, etc.)  and sprinkling salt on it or adding overripe fruit (bananas work well), stale beer, or leaf or manure compost. Water it to keep it moist.

A hint of fall is in the red leaves of Virginia creeper twining around trees. Twin fawns are a kind of “terrible twos.” Their gangliness will soon be replaced with fluidity and fleetness. I don’t think “gangliness” is a valid Scrabble word, but it fits them.

I checked the rain gauge. There was just enough rain to make it worth looking at. A fox squirrel walked up and smelled all my toes (she might have been counting them) made available by my sandals. She climbed the post hosting the rain gauge to say hello. 

It was a squirrel that my wife and I adopted from the good folks at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. The squirrel appeared well and prospering. Squirrels spend around 60% of their time sleeping. 

A study found they average 14.9 hours of sleep each day in a nest called a drey composed of twigs and sticks, and lined with moss, bark, grass and leaves. The nest is typically built at least 20 feet high in the fork of a tall tree. 

It’s common for squirrels to have second and third nests to use in an emergency to hide from a predator, as food storage or as a temporary rest stop.

Gulls flew over. Curt Nelson of Albert Lea was in Florida when he put his hearing aid on an outdoor table and a bird flew down and grabbed it. It never brought the hearing aid back. I suspect it had been a gull. They show little remorse.

Q&A

“Do Japanese beetle traps work?” Yes, but they may attract more beetles than they catch. They do give you the satisfaction of doing them in. Japanese beetles have been documented feeding on over 350 different plants. Adult Japanese beetles become active in Minnesota in late June/early July. Adults feed primarily in July and August, although some may be active into September.

“How long do cicadas live?” Dog day cicadas, also called annual cicadas, hatch from eggs laid in a slit of a tree twig. The tiny nymphs drop to the ground and burrow, where they live 2 — 5 years, sucking juices from plant roots. During the dog days of July and August, they claw to the surface, climb a tree and molt into a winged adult that might live 5 — 6 weeks. The shed skin remains behind, while the adults sing and mate. Some adults emerge each year and are most common in wooded areas, parks, and treed borders.

Meeting adjourned

The old catchphrase of Rexall Drugstores was, “Good health to all from Rexall.” The same to you from me.

Thanks for stopping by

“If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself.” - Albert Einstein

Do good.

© Al Batt 2020